I smile so offten only to keep myself from crying every second that I breathe
I laugh loudly only so that the world won’t hear my agonizing screams
I claim I don’t care so that no one will know how things really affect me
I built a facade of this person that’s unbreakable, when I’m more delicate than china
I know that at anytime I can explode like a shaken bottle of champagne
I’ve learned that, alcohol , sex, nor drugs can relieve my pain
I’d rather see others smile than even see myself grin
If anything in this world unselfishness is my greatest sin
I wish thats somewhere there was an once of genuine happiness within
I can never seem to really express myself to people because it makes me feel weak
But the more I seem to hold everything in the less my heart will learn to speak.
this sexy boy I’ve secretly had a crush on just said I looked good today
wooot woooot woooot
I don’t even get mad anymore, I just stop and realize they can’t help their ignorance and stupidity.
There’s a constant battle between my heat and my head. My heart always wins but my head was always right.
I just have this empty hollow feeling, like my soul is outside my body. I feel numb to everything around me. The numbness get worse when I’m under the influence of something, but once my high is gone I’m reminded how it feels to feel. I can’t even remember what it really feels like to be happy, and be content with life, I guess that’s because what I thought was happiness really wasn’t. Or maybe it’s me being eager to have what I don’t deserve yet.
But who doesn’t deserve to be happy?